Tough Love
by Mickienotthemouse
Summary: While on a mission, a half-starved Seras' self control wavers as she battles with her monstrous nature. A/N: Set before Seras drinks the blood. T for language and mentions of sex. Feedback is welcome.


"You gonna buy something, Honey?" A gruff voice called over the cacophonous techno, and Seras Victoria, who had hitherto been focused on the gyrating humans on the dance floor, snapped to attention. A burly bartender looked at her expectantly. "If not, make room for the paying customers." He was the kind of man Seras might have found intimidating once upon a time, but while his bratwurst fingers might crush watermelons if given the opportunity, her own petite hands were known to crush skulls and she could find no reason at all to be afraid of him.

But if she had to be there, she might as well play the part. "Uh- I'll do a chocolate raspberry martini, please." The man nodded, a bit bemused but not at all surprised that a girl like her should such foofy booze. He made quick work of the drink and slid it across the polished maple. She muttered a thanks, immediately regretting her decision to order anything at all. Naturally, she could not drink it. Not so long ago, this drink had been a favorite of hers. Now it made her want to gag. Why did she she do this to herself? Miserably, she took the glass between her palms and returned to her routine scan of the swanky little night club.

Believe it or not, she was not torturing herself by choice. No, she was on the job. According to Hellsing intelligence, the club was showing signs of becoming something of a vampire hotspot, but oddly there were no ghouls to show for it. However, six people had gone missing over the last several weeks, all of whom were last seen here in the company of a nameless man the police could not seem to locate. The missing persons had two things in common: they were all in college, and they were all female. Her master seemed to think this mystery vampire was forming some kind of coven, picking out the virgins. But with no ghoul outbreaks, he was being discreet about it. Not shitting where he ate, so to speak. But if he really was creating a legion of new vampires, how the devil was he feeding them all without leaving a trail of flesh-eating zombies in his wake?

Seras entertained the idea that it wasn't the work of a vampire at all, but a series of kidnappings conducted by a human. Still a very serious matter, but one best left to the local authorities. Alucard dismissed the notion entirely; He knew vampire activity when he saw it. Still so young as a fledgling, Seras had to take his word for it.

So basically she was here for routine reconnaissance; she was not to engage. Sir Integra and her Master did not trust her to take on a vampire on her own. And it wasn't difficult to understand why. Thirst flared in her throat as a young couple brushed past her, but she instantly doused it with a pang of guilt. She had yet to drink the blood offered to her at Hellsing and it left her with a gnashing beast she constantly had to quell in the very pits of her being.

If you don't trust me, then why put me in the middle of crowd of humans? She got the unnerving feeling she was being set up for failure. Or punished. She felt like a starved hound trapped in room full of marinated steaks. But focus, focus. She had to focus. Did that shadow just move, or was that just a trick of the flashing lights? Was that girl in the corner being turned, or was that just her boyfriend giving her a hickey? It was so hard to tell. And no, don't think about the delicious pulsing bodies whose hearts she felt like a pounding bass in her bones. Was she seeing red or were those just the lights again. Shit. Shit. shitshit shit.

The shattering of her glass broke her internal frenzy. Sticky saccharine booze dripped from her fingers and covered her high-waisted shorts and lacy crop top. Shame, she had bought them specifically for tonight so she could blend in with the colorful crowd of party people. Numbly, she allowed a female bartender rush to her aid and watched expressionlessly as the woman fussed over her hands. Lucky you didn't cut yourself! And Seras could only smile at her weakly. Precious little could pierce her skin so easily these days.

"Making a mess, huh, Sister?" the cheeky voice of a wiry young man with a defined jaw and good-natured eyes sat down beside her.

"Just not my night I guess," Seras murmured, taking a cloth from the bartender and working at the developing stains in her clothing.

"Well let's see if I can make things a little better," he waved down the male bartender who had spoke to her earlier. "Can you get her another of whatever she was drinking."  
>Oh no. "It's fine. Just me being careless," Flirting with college boys was not on her agenda for the night. "You really don't have to go out of your way to do that."<p>

He smiled warmly. "It's fine, I want to."

"Well I don't want you to," she riposted, harsher than intended. The inner beast clenched her painfully.

The boy held up his palms and leaned back, looking a little wounded. "Yikes, you're pretty feisty, Sister. I didn't mean to offend you, or anything."

Seras felt guilty, "No, no I know you didn't. I'm sorry." Her voice nearly cracked, her throat felt like sandpaper.

Concern welled up in his face and Seras noticed how big and innocent and inviting his eyes were. Perfect doe-brown eyes. "Hey, are you okay? You look a little sick."

Seras licked her lips, but it didn't help at all. "Yes, I'm fine. Sorry- I'm afraid you caught me on a bit of an off night. I'm not usually so chafing," she attempted to smile through the pain. "My name's Seras." She offered her hand for him to shake.

"I believe you, Seras. You're too drop-gorgeous to be this high-strung all the time. I'm Danny." The boy named Danny took her hand in both of his and placed a light kiss upon it. She blushed, or felt like blushing since her cheeks could no longer physically color. Such a lanky kid should not be so smooth. Surprise then flashed across his face. "God, but your hands are freezing!" Gently, he gripped her tighter. "And lovely though it is, your skin is white as snow! Are you sure you've eaten enough today?" Seras started at the insinuation, but relaxed when she assured herself there was no way for him to know about her little "eating disorder."He was just being a flirt.

"Plenty," She lied, trying to make light of it. "Too much, probably. I'm trying to watch my weight, you see."

And then something indiscernible flashed in his eyes, like a knowing, amused look, but it was gone so suddenly she couldn't even be sure it was ever there. "Heaven knows you don't need to do that, with a body like yours."

She stared at him, mouth agape.

"I'm sorry that was pretty forward of me," He turned away, looking sorry.

Seras softened at his propriety. He had this oxymoronic way about him that was both self-confident and shy that put her at ease with him. She found herself wishing she could ditch her assignment and spend the rest of the night talking to him, but that was foolhardy. Especially when her eyes kept trailing back to his jugular. She averted her gaze apologetically, "You're not being too forward."

"Then you wouldn't mind if I ask you for a dance?"

Seras tightened her jaw and glanced towards the dance floor sheepishly. The thought of being in the throes of so many thrashing mortal bodies was daunting. And Master wouldn't be pleased with her at all, jeopardizing the mission to go dancing and all that. "Oh, I don't know Danny-" _ Go on!_ a small but powerful voice in her mind urged. _It's just one dance. Everything will be just fine._ Besides, the rogue vampire might be on the dance floor, and she'd never be able to see him from all the way over here, she rationalized. _That settles it, then._ The corner of her mouth tugged into a wary smile, "Oh, alright. I suppose just one couldn't hurt anything."

Danny grinned. Taking her hand, he led her through the writhing throng, staking claim to a small space somewhere at the heart of the steamy mass. This feeling was familiar to Seras. The rolling of her hips, the hands of a man on the small of her back. Though she was a virgin, she was no stranger to the ways of night clubs or dancing. She used to get high off the lustful gazes of men, as she knew she wouldn't take any of them home with her. She remembered keenly the satisfaction it gave her, knowing she had that control over them. To keep them enthralled, but to withhold that which they truly wanted: sex.

But try as she might to let her body lose itself to the rhythm of the music, almost immediately, Seras' vision began to swim. It was too much, being in the middle of all these people! The smell of their blood hung in the air like a heavy perfume. Her fangs elongated so that she could feel the tips of them pierce her tongue. She let out a small whimper and stopped dead in her tracks, terrified that one more move and she might do something she'd seriously regret, like rip apart ever single thing with a heart beat within a square mile. Reminding herself that she was here on an assignment and desperate for a distraction, she glanced around praying for any sign of their target. Danny simply looked at her with kind eyes. He kissed the skin on the back of her hand comfortingly, and she had to bite the inside of her mouth. Then with his lips stretching into a sensual grin, he gently cupped either side of her face. "You're so distracted, Sister." That's when he leaned in to kiss her, or so she had thought. Instead she found his lips pressed against her ear. Seras' breath caught in her throat, the need to bite into the supple flesh of his neck became overwhelming. .

"Danny," she croaked. "I- I can't," She had to get out of here- now. God, but she didn't want to hurt him. Or anyone else! Screw the assignment. Things were about to get bad. And not because of their target. But because of her. Shame pooled inside her. She tried pulling away but found herself frozen to the spot. With her parched throat on fire, the beast inside raged. She felt like crying.

"Shhh," he cooed softly into her ear. Sliding one hand to wrap around her waist, he pushed himself closer. She found her face buried in the crook of his neck, his pulse thumping against her cheek; the sound of it was deafening.

"You don't understand, Danny," she whispered despairingly into his skin, lips poised over the pulsing blue fount. Hot tears of frustration, guilt and desire streamed from her eyes.

"It's okay. I want you to do it," he said wiping a tear from her face. "Go on, you want it more than anything, I can see it in your eyes. Do it." He held her hair away from her face. "Bite me." _Do it. Do it._ His voice and his pulse were the only two sounds in existence. The blaring music faded away to nothing along with the pounding feet of dancers. _ Do it. You've waited so long._ _You deserve this. Do it._ Hating herself, Seras allowed her fangs to scrape the surface of his skin, not enough pressure to draw blood. The animal inside her, sensing triumph in the near future, howled with glee. _Good, good. Just sink your teeth in now. Do it._

_Do it, Police Girl._

Her eyes shot open and when she did she could see him watching them from the shadows across the room. From beneath a red-brimmed hat, crimson eyes tore through her with staggering intensity.

"Something wrong?" As Danny spoke into her ear her Master's lips moved in perfect mimicry. She lurched backwards in abject horror. No longer did she see the boy, only a life-sized puppet with Alucard as its ventriloquist. The puppet wore an inviting smile, a high-contrast to the maniacal leer of her Master as they spoke as one. "Aren't we having fun?"

Like the breaking of a spell, she broke away from the puppet's grip. Fierce anger replaced desperate thirst and she pushed Danny viciously into the crowd. As she did so, his head lolled unnaturally to the side and all muscle control dissipated from his limbs as Alucard relinquished his control over him. The body of the young man to fell like a rag doll to the ground, probably doomed to be crushed by the careless stamping of clubbers, but Seras wouldn't find out. She was already half way to the exit.

* * *

><p>This particular exit opened to a deserted alley way. The cool night air ballooned in her lungs like the breath of life after so long being filled with the disastrous musk of mortal sweat and blood. She stumbled down the alley, head still spinning. Her whole body shook she was so angry.<p>

Just as she was getting ready to turn onto the main road, Alucard materialized in front her, causing her to jump in fright. They regarded each other for several moments without speaking, his face a mask of perfect severity, while her's a look of total ire.

Alucard opened his mouth to speak, but Seras beat him to it.

"You had no right to do that," she hissed.

And he had the absolute gall to act innocent. "Do what- help you?"

It was all she could do not to tear her hair out, "That sick puppet show you just pulled back there," the hurt and betrayal was thick in her tone. "You used that poor boy. Jesus- I nearly killed him, and who knows who else I would've hurt! This is how you get your kicks when you're bored isn't it? You fuck with people's heads!"

"Did it ever occur to you that my actions are not always so self-serving?" He regarded coolly, arms crossed. Although he couldn't deny he did enjoy playing voyeur immensely. "I was simply trying to give you a push in the right direction."

"But Danny! And what about the mission? You distracted me from our target; we might have lost the vampire."

"Idiot, That boy was the target!"

"Wha- but he wasn't a vampire..." she tried weakly.

"That's correct. There never was vampire activity here. It was all the work of a kidnapping murderer, courtesy of your precious Daniel."

The work of a human. Just as she had originally suspected. "But," she blinked, her confusion adding to her already muddied thoughts. "You said it was definitely a vampire." Her Master was never wrong.

"I lied," he said simply.

"And Danny was the killer who took those girl?" ."

Alucard nodded."I found him as soon as you sat down and took possession of his mind," The fun part had been playing around with what would seduce his young draculina. "You are such a sucker for the sweetsy-nicey act. Don't gawk like that it rather unbecoming."

Seras snapped her hanging jaw shut. "But Integra gave the orders..."

"Integra gave me permission. She thinks it's high time you became a real vampire, and she allowed me to use whatever methods I so chose, provided I play by a few rules."

Anger and frustration boiled inside her. "And what would've happened if I had gone bat-shit in there? Do you know how close I was to losing it? I might've killed everyone in there!"

"Do not raise your voice to me," he warned with narrowing eyes. "I was there the whole time, nothing would have gotten out of hand. I assure you, it was a most secure learning environment."

Seras let out an incredulous scoff. She wanted nothing more than to be as far away from him as possible and, with balls she didn't know she had, she shuffled around her master, keeping one hand on the wall for support, and made another break for the street. Which had been a huge mistake. The next moment she yelped as she was slammed roughly into the wall, cracking the bricks with her skull on impact.

"Don't you dare turn your back on me, _Servant_," Her master hissed into her ear. His grip on her shoulders tightened painfully. "I have had quite my fill of your insubordination. Look at you, so weak you can barely stand upright. Perhaps you still do not understand- without the blood you will be dead in a matter of weeks. Finished. A dry, rotting husk. I go through the trouble of kindly offering you the easiest kill on a silver platter and still you are obstinate. And for what- a misguided sense of morality? An obsessive tryst with your deceased humanity? Ungrateful fool."

"But it's not your choice to make," Her words came softly, barely audible.

"I beg your pardon," he said iciliy.

"I said, it's not your choice," she said louder this time, meeting the malice in his crimson eyes with her own measurable ferocity. "You can't force me to drink the blood. It's my decision. Not yours or Sir Integra's. Back in Cheddar, you gave me the choice. If the outcome had been different, if I had said no- you would have let me die, wouldn't you?"

Alucard only stared at her.

"It was my life, I chose to either live or die. It's still my life and I choose to either drink or die. And it's not your place to force me into either direction," her voice dropped slightly. "It would be something like rape, wouldn't it?"  
>Alucard's eyes narrowed and finally he released her. "You present a good argument," his voice rumbled as turned away from her. "But keep in mind, you do not have the luxury of much time, Police Girl. If you choose death, so be it, but do not expect me to hold your hand any longer. If you fail, own your failure."<p>

And in a whirl of black smoke he disappeared, leaving his fledgling to her thoughts. Underneath his frustration with his wayward draculina there was flicker of admiration. No other new-born vampire to his knowledge had ever gone so long without drinking blood by their own choice. It took an impressive strength of will to cleave to one's beliefs so strongly that it nearly kills her. And looking at the Police Girl he could see the time was coming upon her fast, but he had no doubt she would drink in due time. As much as she had a will to do the right thing, her will to survive was so much stronger and would eventually outweigh her moral dilemma; he was sure of it. For now, he would let her cling to her precious self-righteousness. The dark path of a vampire was long twisted he could neither meet her half-way nor give her an annotated road map. Instead he must allow her to blaze a trail all her own. It would be infuriating to no end and would require a great deal of patience, but he supposed he if expected her to be an easy fledgling to raise, he would never have offered to turn her in the first place. 


End file.
